Half as much and more than plenty.

Several things have recently collided in my life to make me aware of one very important thing. If I had half as much, I'd still have more than plenty.

Now before you jump and run, hear me out. Really...I'm applying this to one area of my life. Food. For now.

We've all heard that America is fat. Oklahoma is fat. Well, here's the honest truth, so am I. I don't eat tons of junk, I don't eat tons period. But I do eat more than I need...obviously.

I've been struggling with it for some time. Not too seriously or I wouldn't still be struggling, but thinking about it none-the-less. I'm going to Africa soon. There are overweight people in Africa, but it's because they live on rice. They have few choices. I don't struggle with a lack of choice or availability. I could do better.

And then it hit me, seriously hit me. Food poisoning. Threw me out of the eating game for 48 hours. It was gross, painful, and eye-opening. I think my stomach shrunk two sizes that day. Very Grinchy...

But what it did was allow me to say no. No I don't need to finish that plate, I pay for it either way. No I don't need to have seconds. No I don't need to feel guilty about it. Grandma isn't watching and Dad didn't fill my plate for me. I'm not being wasteful I'm being wise.

So I'm eating half and I'm hoping this sticks with me. So far so good. I feel better when satisfied only and not stuffed. For all you thin eaters out there, I know this is not new news to you. But for some of us, there is a huge learning curve to be mounted and overcome.

And...I am an overcomer. So much of my life is witness to this.

So here's to the Full Years to come with only half. I know, sounds crazy, but it just may be the answer, at least for me.

peace.

Impossible!

Impossible for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage. Impossible for a plain country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage. And four white mice will never be four white hourses. Such fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee of courses. Impossible! But the world is full of zanies and fools who don't believe in sensible rules and won't believe what sensible people say.. and because these daft and dewey eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes impossible things are happening every day!

And today was one of those days.

I'm a rose colored glasses, pollyanna kind of gal. I love happy endings, laughter, spontaneous singing and I believe the potential to be the best you can be really does exist in all of us.

My hope and faith was renewed today. I moved my 70 year old alzheimers dad into a nursing home. He went willingly, peacefully and seem relieved. The nursing staff was very friendly, very helpful. The home is comfortable and welcoming. From the chickens in the courtyard area to the tiny finches in the TV room, life abounds in the place. Something I never expected in a nursing home. Something I was thrilled to find.

I hope you never have to face what I did today. But if you do...

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

I felt the love of the community surround us today. I am grateful God held us all in the palm of His loving, almighty hand.

peace.

Moving Day

Tomorrow I put my dad in a nursing home. I know lots of people do it, there are some good homes out there, and sometimes it's a necessity. This is one of those times.

But I honestly never thought this would happen.

This is just not the way my family does things. We grow old, we die. Very few of my extended family have lingered with an illness that required 24/7 care. If they did, they were married and at home.

My great uncle Grady just died. He was 97, still lived in his own house, played golf 3 times a week, mowed his own lawn and bowled in a senior's league. (They had to put him in with the 70 year olds cause their weren't any other 90-somethings playing and he still beat them).

My grandma, my dad's mom and Grady's sister, is 93 and living in a retirement community. She is still in charge of the world, always right and if you don't believe me, I'll give you her number and you can call and ask.

And then there is dad. He's 70. Because of alzheimers, his journey will likely end in this nursing home. Alzheimers is nasty. It has stolen his mind, his memory, his golden years. It has stolen the future I always thought we would have with him. I'm feeling relieved, cheated, joyful, guilt-ridden and just plain mad.

If we can spend billions on any given day for any given reason, WHY can't we find a cure for this heinous, dream stealing disease. Did you know that there are diagnosed cases of alzheimers in children as young as 6? SIX!!!!

I promise to do something. I do not want to see families lose loved ones before their time. I do not want to see dreams die. I do not want to believe this can't be stopped.

For tomorrow, I'll move my dad. I'll cry my tears. I'll try to make him comfortable in his new surroundings where he will be safe.

But watch out future days, I'm coming for you.

peace.

Reconnecting

I've been on Facebook for awhile now. Connecting and reconnecting has been fun. It has allowed me the ability to communicate with folks I'd lost touch with and to enhance contact with people I still see around.

After 45 years, I've met a lot of people. I haven't lived in one place as long as I have now lived in OKC, but I did spend some rather formative years in a couple of remarkable places.

The first one was Farmersville, Texas. I moved there from Dallas when I was 12, right before the 7th grade. You know that awkward, unsure, gangly phase of life we all go through? Yes, that was when my dad decided "goodbye city life" and "green acres we were there!" It was and still is a small town. When I lived there, the population was around 2000. My class had 30 kids in it and that was the entire seventh grade. It has grown significantly since I lived there, but the town square still stands and some parts are relatively untouched. Although McKinney is quick approaching from the west.

My memories of Farmersville are warm and wonderful. Kind of frozen in time actually. They were some of the happiest days of my childhood, full of good people and fun times. It was also the last place my family was still whole. That might have something to do with it. It was the last place life was relatively easy for me. I was still able to be a kid and I was. I was naive, awkward, innocent, involved, excited, and driven. I wanted to be noticed and yet cringed when I was. I excelled at school and went relatively unnoticed socially.

I joined the band and my second year was first chair. In Farmersville, you either played football as a Fighting Farmer, danced with the drill team as a Farmerette or marched and played in the band. Football games were town events and I loved them. I knew everyone around me, but was an outsider in many ways. I was the new girl. I hadn't lived there my whole life, so I didn't have history and I was terminally shy.

I loved my church youth group. I felt most accepted with this wonderful group. Our youth pastor was an outsider as well and I think that helped me feel like I was part.

I had the regular crushes and broken hearts. I had the excitement of sports from both the player and spectator vantages. Being 5'10" by the seventh grade kind of helped that! Yes, I played basketball.

But band was where I allowed myself to cut loose a little. We worked together, traveled together, competed together...we were a team. I joined the flag corp, cause their outfits were cuter and my newly acquired teen body looked better in them. I loved the band dances and the band banquets. My favorite date was Kenny. He was such a nice guy, so cute.

I remember working up the nerve to call his house, sometimes it took 3 or 4 times before I could dial the whole number and let it ring. My heart would be pounding, my pulse racing, and the phone would ring. Would he think I was weird? Would he roll his eyes when he heard my voice thinking oh great it's her? Would he say yes? No? Who else could I ask? Did I really need a date? Everyone else would have one. Always. 3 seconds later...someone would answer the phone, Kenny would get on, I would ask, he would say yes.

We'd coordinate colors with his aunt in town on the flowers, she was THE florist you know. And we'd dance. For one night everyone was equal. Everyone was accepted. Everyone had fun. And by everyone, I mostly mean me. I'm sure everyone else did too, but that wasn't really my focus honestly. Even looking back now I still feel the excitement of belonging. I was there, with a date, in a pretty dress, with color coordinated flowers. All was good. Even if my dad did chaperone every time. :-P

Through Facebook, I've reconnected with Kenny. He's married, a father of 2, and a music minister. None of that surprises me. He was always a sweet guy. He always said yes, even if he really didn't want to. I'll never know and honestly, I'll never ask. I like the picture in my brain and in my scrapbook somewhere of 2 awkward, gangly blond kids with braces smiling like crazy at the band dance.

Thanks Farmersville for the best kid days of my life. Don't change too much. Thanks Facebook for the memories and for reconnecting me to the days of innocence I have sometimes let be overshadowed by what came after we left.

peace.

Day of Rest

I have always enjoyed going to church. My friends are there, I love worship and singing, it was always a charge up for me. As I have gotten a little older and my children have grown up and out, I have found that sometimes, no church on Sunday makes for a day of rest unlike any other.

I almost feel guilty, almost. I still love God with all my heart and soul and mind and strength. I still love gathering with other believers to celebrate His constant love and goodness. Sometimes, I just feel the need to stop and smell the roses. To count my many blessings everyday. If you are singing that old country song in your head now, my job is complete. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, click here.

My days are full, my life is busy. Sometimes, I need to stop, listen, relax and rest. No TV, no agenda...just being. I am, after all, a human being. My human doing sometimes forgets that!

So give yourself permission to stop. To sit. Life is too short to race through missing all the moments you could have had. If this week has shown us anything with the deaths of the rich and famous, it shows us that our days are numbered and we don't know when those numbers run out. Live each day as if it were your last day. Give those great smelling roses to the living and then stay a visit awhile...

peace.

Your Response is Your Responsibility

So you should try this, walk up to one of my daughters and say "Your Response..." and wait. They will look at you strangely, wonder how you knew the secret phrase and most likely say back "is Your Responsibility."

You see, I brainwashed them. I admit it. I did not accept the status quo answers. No one can "make" you anything. Mad, glad, sad, whatever....you choose. Now I hear you saying "But he hurt my feelings" and I understand, I am not without compassion. In fact, I'm a major sap, I cry at almost anything. But to dwell in those places and blame your behavior on those circumstances is not against your will. It is your choice.

For example...2 little girls playing, one takes a Barbie away from the other and she gets mad. Her response to this anger is her responsibilty. She can choose to bop her sister, grab it back, throw a fit, go tattle, whatever...but at that point she is in control and ultimately, responsible for her decision.

I wish I could say I always respond correctly. I don't. This is like many things in my life, I understand them, I desire them, I strive for them. I do know, I'm better than I used to be. I measure my responses based on different criteria than I used to and I react slower than I used to...maybe the gift of age is truly a gift.

I've often said I would write a book based on this idea. Maybe I should. Can you imagine what our world would look like if everyone actually took responsibilty for their responses? I think I'd like living in that world.

"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

peace.

Do you have a story to tell?

We all do. This one touched me today. I may tell one of my own soon.

jenx67 is one of my favorite blogs and today was no exception. Go read her story.

peace.